Skip to content

Posts tagged ‘Humor’

Feb 11

Is Obama a Mac and Clinton a PC?

Obama ClintonOn one thing, the experts seem to agree. The differences between hillaryclinton.com and barackobama.com can be summed up this way: Barack Obama is a Mac, and Hillary Clinton is a PC.

That is, Mr. Obama’s site is more harmonious, with plenty of white space and a soft blue palette. Its task bar is reminiscent of the one used at Apple’s iTunes site. It signals in myriad ways that it was designed with a younger, more tech-savvy audience in mind — using branding techniques similar to the ones that have made the iPod so popular.

read more

Nov 28

34 Scripts and Ideas for Getting Back at Telemarketers

The Federal Trade Commission has just slapped Do Not Call Registry offenders with $7.7 million worth of penalties. With a figure like that, it’s clear that telemarketers are finding that boundaries are a problem. But that doesn’t mean you have to take their abuse — fight back using these 34 tools and tactics.

Ideas

Get guidance and suggestions for the best ways to get telemarketers off your back.

  1. Counterpitching: This Web designer suggests that you offer your services to the telemarketer on the other end of the line. Alternatively, you can also pretend to be in the business that they’re selling from and make them feel silly for calling.
  2. Time to Fight Back: This article details ways to get back at telemarketers. You can waste their time, attempt conversational techniques and more.
  3. Do Not Call: Check out this list for ideas to use when called by a telemarketer. You’ll find toilet humor as well as guilt tactics.
  4. How to Deal With Those Damn Telemarketers: Follow these tips when you get a telemarketing call. Some of the most important are: Don’t just hang up, and make sure you say both “no” and “take me off of your list.”
  5. Having Fun With Telemarketers: Here, you’ll find 20 fun ideas for making telemarketers wish they’d never called you. Highlights include a marriage proposal and a few ways to waste their time.
  6. Anti-Telemarketing Action Kit: This guide from UCAN (Utility Consumers’ Action Network) details ideas for keeping telemarketers at bay. You’ll learn how to hurt them financially, waste their time and get payback.

read more

Nov 27

Ship crashes in Antarctica, check out the name and the irony…

I cant possibly spoil this by telling you any more……

read more

Oct 12

The Most Amazing Video Of A Girl Playing Star Wars On The Trumpet

From www.bestweekever.tv: There are many things that make the following video amazing. For starters, it’s called “Star Wars Trumpet” that should be enough right there. But no, it gets better. For the trumpeteer is a girl named Stacey Hedger, who appears on stage wearing the finest black unitard with silver sparkle-fringed sleeves the 1980′s had to offer.

And just when you think you’re about to be blown away by her unbelievable horn skills,  she proceeds to pump out the most cacaphonous, ear-splitting rendition of the Star Wars theme imaginable. Thankfully, this doesn’t stop her from using her trumpet as a deadly blaster! And doing a killer Charlie Chaplin impression!  Watch it now.

YouTube Preview Image

Oct 11

Craigslist Meets WallStreet

Young “gold digger” gets business 101 lesson.  What a classic answer…

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

  • Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
  • What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
  • Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
  • Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
  • Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
  • How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity, in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold “hence the rub” marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

(Via HowardLindzon.com.)

Jul 12

Spoof on Microsoft Surface Computing

YouTube Preview Image

Jan 29

iPhone Shuffle

iphone-shuffle

Click image for a larger version

This is just plain funny, I don’t care who you are. What else can i say?
Image source: http://www.mac-essentials.de/

Jan 27

My vote for Product of the Year

poop-freeze.jpgHaving a new dog, I found a product that I think qualifies for some product of the year award, but will certainly make the lives of our children so much easier. Now my oldest daughter won’t have to stand in the rain, crying during her turn to cleanup the dog “mess”.

POOP-FREEZE™ is a specially formulated aerosol freeze spray that, upon contact, forms a frosty film on dog poop (or cat poop) to harden the surface for easy pick-up. POOP-FREEZE is a great companion to a pooper scooper for clean fast dog poop or cat poop disposal.

POOP-FREEZE contains no CFC’s and is perfect for both outside and indoor use. Totally safe for both humans and pets when used as directed. Great product testimonials have been given to POOP-FREEZE for dog poop and cat poop removal. POOP-FREEZE, a pooper scooper and dog poop waste bags are the perfect solutions to fast and easy dog poop and cat poop removal.

Jan 19

AT&T the T-1000 of Corporations

Colbert hits the nail on the head during his historical diagram of the history of AT&T. So sad to see my “favorite” wireless company disappearing. Too bad they can’t improve their customer service as easily as changing names.

Nov 21

Donut Robot of Love 2000

Donut Robot 2000This blog post by Derrick of Stamford CT, talks about his recent purchase of a Belshaw Donut Robot Model 42 from Ebay for $900. This thing makes 384 donuts per hour! Derrick connected it to the 240V AC power in his laundry room and let her rip…Great pictures included.

1 of 21 2